November, 1996: Groblet Fishkin, pictured above, is an idiot. It is possible that he is an avatar of Grobius Shortling (see Isomerism on the Home Page), but if so he has been disowned, and thus has taken on an independent existence. Lately, he has fallen under the malign influence of one Mr. Fishe, who apparently has become amused at the opportunity to foment malicious mischief via this character. The most recent incident has been the vandalization of mailboxes in the Park Slope area of Brooklyn, as far down as the Gowanus Canal. People would come home from work, or wake up in the morning, to find their boxes pried open and any junk mail discovered therein masticated and half digested before being put back in this disgusting state.

It was thought for a while that Mr. Fishe was the culprit, because of his well-known antipathy to what he calls Junque Mail on the Internet. But it turns out to have been Fishkin, who was caught in the act of eating junk mail in the 12th Street Bar & Grill (he actually asked the bartender for some ketchup). At the moment, he is still being held at Bellevue Hospital for evaluation.

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